okay it's been a whirlwind weekend....thankfully I finally got my parents moved out of the apartment. so now i am only dealing with my home, my daughter, my father and my mom in the hospital. my dad had a bad day to day, he has good memory days and bad, the bad ones are scary and sad....it's like losing my dad piece by piece... i sometimes wonder where the wonderful, humorous vibrant man he was -- went to. man it takes courage.... real courage to age. i often wonder what he is thinking about.....because often he can't verbalize it. i now think that nat was brought to us to help bring some positive vibrant energy into out lives....to be a loving spirit to my father....his eyes brighten so when he sees her. my mom...it keeps seeming like something new is popping up...a new diagnosis.....i have real concerns about her going back to florida with my dad. how she is going to cope....she is realizing that things are going to have to change quicker than she had planned or wanted them too....which must be such a sad realization for her.....i am amazed at her outlook on life, her attitude about getting old...it's not bitter or anger.....it is just one of those things that happen and that must be dealt with.....another mountain to climb....i hope i can maintain that wonderful outlook on life as i age......
another thought i have .....is maybe the reason i haven't been able to have another child is that my task in life is to help my folks navigate this next stage in life......don't get me wrong .....it's not all my responsibility.... i have a wonderful brother ......who is very supportive and so wants to help and be there.....but like all families we are scattered all over this country.....so at times we can only be an encouraging voice from the phone.....a helper in the decision making process.
tomorrow is a new day.....
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