Grief

Lately I have been thinking alot about grief. Probably because of a friend's husband who has died recently. He was young - and left behind a young wife and family.

As I think about grief it seems like many people want to quantify grief - say loss is harder when the person was young and had so many hopes and dreams a head of them. Yes, that is hard, but doesn't everyone that dies have hopes and dreams a head of them. The forty year old that dies is thinking of spending time with her young children, and thinking of what life will be later when they grow up. Or maybe they aren't married but they are planning to be married or planning on a life filled with fun, wonderful dreams. Or the sixty year that is looking forward to retirement, spending time with friends and family. Or the seventy year old that has enjoyed life but still has so much more to look forward to.

In my mind grief can't be quantified, it' s an individual and universal experience. Losing a child is hard, loosing a parent is hard, losing a sibling is hard and it must be hard to lose a spouse or significant other. Because each of the above losses were hard and significant to me. They made me really think about life and evaluate it, not for the better or worse to just to find a sense of history, value. And after each loss, and with time, it has come to me that loss is universal and individual - someone who has experienced loss knows how hard it is to loss someone they loved, to lose that connection.